Loyalty and it's Appropriate Timing



When counseling or advising others I usually say something that Ends up preaching to myself. Recently I stated "you can't give everyone husband perks" meaning that there are certain factors that only your spouse deserves. Inadvertently I needed to hear it for myself. Too often when I'm interested in someone I solely focus on that one person with this ignorance of confirmation that we are exclusively getting to know each other. I'm not speaking sexually either... Just communication on a regular to figure out if the individual is compatible and adds more that they take away.
I said all that to say this, loyalty is only expected when in a relationship or marriage so why is it that when I'm communicating with Someone on the regular, that I feel it should be honored and reciprocated?
Mind boggling, I know.. Getting so caught up in the words that I hear that I neglect to pay attention to the words unsaid, the action. I pride myself on reciprocation so I always "feel some type of way " when I don't feel my energy or effort is reciprocated. Is this the way that you talk to every person you meet?
I'm too old for foolery and I refuse to entertain something I don't see potential in... The issue with that is we fall in love with potential... Whew.... Don't be so ambiguous Sensai....All the thoughts that scurry through my head will drive a man crazy because they are for clarity, as I'm big on understanding. Often times, I filter my questions just so I'm not bombarding or seeming like I'm nagging. In actuality I just want "to know". Is that too much to ask? Maybe I need to seize filling in the blanks in my own mind by assuming we are on one accord and actually ask... You'd be surprised to hear the responses.
I'm a thinker, an intellectual by nature and it's something I can't control. No one is perfect and I don't feel like I'm searching for that perfection in someone else, but is the simplicity that I think I'm asking for nonexistent? Am I the one to blame for not getting clarification? I'm an extremist, either you're with me or against me, no gray area... I don't desire talking to multiple people if I'm trying to get to know someone. I've tried that before and someone always ends up getting hurt.. I guess that's what I may be afraid of...well I know it is. I don't want to hurt anyone and for sure don't want to get hurt. From now on, I plan to show loyalty only to those who show it to me. I am fully aware of my worth and what I deserve therefore I will take nothing less. You may ask, "if you're just talking why do you feel the other person owes you loyalty"? Simply put, after a certain amount of time has passed and life is bliss when you're in the presence of the individual or simply talking to them, the facade is painted as if everything is exclusive... There's a difference in men and women... Men see time as an investment for sexual reasoning whereas women see time as an emotional investment... I just pray that I am not too desensitized that my husband doesn't receive the best me. Of course I'll be loyal then but I don't want To be broken and loyal and hinder our relationship. 

"Ask and you shall receive" 

Now I realize why I was so guarded, it's a place of security.  

EVERYONE DOESNT DESERVE YOUR LOYALTY SO DONT HAND IT OUT SO FREELY...


Don't treat someone like a celebrity and not expect them to treat you like a fan... 
Sensai 

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