Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Dealing with forgiveness may be one of the most difficult challenges in life one can experience. It seems absolutely illogical to forgive someone who has stabbed you in the back, deceived you, hurt your family member, etc. "Turn the other cheek" you say. Yea it's biblical but not the easiest thing to do. Because I have experienced many encounters of dealing with forgiveness, allow me to speak from my own truth.
It's completely human for you to want to seek revenge or wish evil on someone but I have learned revenge is a revolving door, therefore seeking revenge is inflicting self harm in a way. You see, thinking about ways to seek revenge drains a lot of your energy and is completely pointless. We say "but how is it fair for someone to harm me and I am just supposed to let it go". That doesn't make sense. Well let's get this straight. Life is not fair. Things will not always make sense. Guess what favor isn't fair either.
But it is written, Romans 12:19 " Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord."
And again...
Deuteronomy 32:35
"I will take revenge; I will pay them back. In due time their feet will slip. Their day of disaster will arrive, and their destiny will overtake them.'"
Let it go!
In counseling we try to give a visual on how baggage and hurt affects one's life. If you so wish to partake in this experience, try this... Hold your hands directly in front of you, palms up, so that your arms are parallel to the ground for 7 minutes. How did your arms feel after one minute ? 4? Did you even make it that far? Although there is nothing physically in your hands, the longer you hold them the heavier they become eventually causing more harm and pain to yourself.
One of the quotes that helps me with forgiveness is "life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apology you never received". You see when you hold on to anger and unforgiveness you are carrying unnecessary weight causing yourself more harm than the offender. Constantly replaying the scenario in your mind that you just can't seem to wrap your head around why you need to forgive. Please don't misconstrue my words as in become best friends with the person that constantly causes you harm or stay in an abusive or unhealthy relationship, because I am in no way shape or form encouraging or endorsing that lifestyle. I am simply saying when you are unforgiving, you are doing more harm than the original offense.
No I am not perfect and this is not something I can immediately do because I am an intellectual who has to process, dissect, and analyze all angles. In contrast, I often times have difficulty being too forgiving therefore individuals find peace too quickly and don't seem to remember how hurtful their actions may have affected me. Others I simply forgive and excommunicate from my life. No that does not mean I hate them or desire harm on their life, it simply means they were either dividing or subtracting from my life instead of adding and multiplying. At this point in my life, I can't handle dead weight.
Matthew 6:14-15 NIV
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Colossians 3:13 NIV
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Next time you have a difficult time forgiving someone remember forgiveness is for you, not them. Also, I want you to recall a time you desired to be forgiven and recollect how horrible you felt having your act held over your head. Not to get overly spiritual but think about how many times God has had to forgive you for all of your wrongdoing and sins.
Inhale, exhale. Repeat! Today is the best day of the rest of your life. It's your time to live in peace. Forgive and release all of the pain or you too run the risk of being UNFORGIVEN.
Sensai
Dealing with forgiveness may be one of the most difficult challenges in life one can experience. It seems absolutely illogical to forgive someone who has stabbed you in the back, deceived you, hurt your family member, etc. "Turn the other cheek" you say. Yea it's biblical but not the easiest thing to do. Because I have experienced many encounters of dealing with forgiveness, allow me to speak from my own truth.
It's completely human for you to want to seek revenge or wish evil on someone but I have learned revenge is a revolving door, therefore seeking revenge is inflicting self harm in a way. You see, thinking about ways to seek revenge drains a lot of your energy and is completely pointless. We say "but how is it fair for someone to harm me and I am just supposed to let it go". That doesn't make sense. Well let's get this straight. Life is not fair. Things will not always make sense. Guess what favor isn't fair either.
But it is written, Romans 12:19 " Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord."
And again...
Deuteronomy 32:35
"I will take revenge; I will pay them back. In due time their feet will slip. Their day of disaster will arrive, and their destiny will overtake them.'"
Let it go!
In counseling we try to give a visual on how baggage and hurt affects one's life. If you so wish to partake in this experience, try this... Hold your hands directly in front of you, palms up, so that your arms are parallel to the ground for 7 minutes. How did your arms feel after one minute ? 4? Did you even make it that far? Although there is nothing physically in your hands, the longer you hold them the heavier they become eventually causing more harm and pain to yourself.
One of the quotes that helps me with forgiveness is "life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apology you never received". You see when you hold on to anger and unforgiveness you are carrying unnecessary weight causing yourself more harm than the offender. Constantly replaying the scenario in your mind that you just can't seem to wrap your head around why you need to forgive. Please don't misconstrue my words as in become best friends with the person that constantly causes you harm or stay in an abusive or unhealthy relationship, because I am in no way shape or form encouraging or endorsing that lifestyle. I am simply saying when you are unforgiving, you are doing more harm than the original offense.
No I am not perfect and this is not something I can immediately do because I am an intellectual who has to process, dissect, and analyze all angles. In contrast, I often times have difficulty being too forgiving therefore individuals find peace too quickly and don't seem to remember how hurtful their actions may have affected me. Others I simply forgive and excommunicate from my life. No that does not mean I hate them or desire harm on their life, it simply means they were either dividing or subtracting from my life instead of adding and multiplying. At this point in my life, I can't handle dead weight.
Matthew 6:14-15 NIV
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Colossians 3:13 NIV
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Next time you have a difficult time forgiving someone remember forgiveness is for you, not them. Also, I want you to recall a time you desired to be forgiven and recollect how horrible you felt having your act held over your head. Not to get overly spiritual but think about how many times God has had to forgive you for all of your wrongdoing and sins.
Inhale, exhale. Repeat! Today is the best day of the rest of your life. It's your time to live in peace. Forgive and release all of the pain or you too run the risk of being UNFORGIVEN.
Sensai
#forgiveness #hurt #pain #betrayal #letitgo #unforgiven #grudges #deadweight #blog
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