The Battle in My Mind

This time it’s personal… This year, as I turn 37, I feel something shifting deep within me. It’s more than another birthday; it’s a spiritual milestone. The number 37 carries profound meaning. In biblical symbolism, it represents completion and perfection intertwined with purpose. It quietly whispers,  “ It’s time to reap .”  Not just the physical blessings, but the harvest that comes after seasons of endurance, lessons, tears, and faith. For years, I’ve been sowing seeds, some in pain, some in prayer, and some in patience. I’ve learned that growth isn’t always loud or visible. Sometimes, it’s what happens in silence, in the spaces where you choose peace instead of proving a point, or boundaries instead of burnout. Turning 37 feels like standing at the edge of a new chapter where God is saying,  “Now, watch what I can do with all you’ve been through.” This year will be  personal . It’s not about proving anything to anyone; it’s about walking in everything God has pro...

In healthy relationships, love is meant to feel abundant, mutual, and nourishing. But for many, the reality looks different, one partner giving their all while the other offers just enough to keep things going, but never enough to truly satisfy. This pattern is often called  breadcrumbing , and it leaves the person on the receiving end feeling emotionally deprived, unseen, and unfulfilled. What is Breadcrumbing? Breadcrumbing happens when one partner gives small, inconsistent signs of attention, affection, or commitment, but never follows through with genuine depth. It’s like being handed crumbs when what you truly need is a full meal. It might look like: Occasional compliments but no consistent appreciation. Moments of intimacy followed by long stretches of distance. Just enough communication to prevent disconnection, but never enough to feel secure. Promises of “someday” without real action to build a future. On the surface, these small gestures may feel like hope, but over time ...

  Taking time to reflect has been incredibly valuable. Being in a healthy relationship has filled me with hope and excitement for what’s ahead. It’s prompted me to pause and gather my thoughts here’s what’s been on my heart… Yesterday, I met the truth  and she was soft, but unrelenting. She said, “No… you’re not quite ready for marriage again.” And I didn’t flinch. Because she wasn’t judging  she was freeing me. Freeing me to admit what I need, without apology. To stand on things I’ve spoken out loud and things I have whispered in private. I need to feel safe enough… to feel. To break without being broken. To cry and not be labeled “too much.” To speak and not be muted by ego or pride. I need space  space to be human, to be messy, to heal the parts of me no one ever saw bleeding. I need to heal the wounds I’ve carried, the ones I tucked behind strength and silence, the ones I dressed in “I’m fine” so no one would worry. I need to feel loved  not tolerated, not m...