The Battle in My Mind

There are seasons in life where everything feels still—quiet, even painfully so. It can feel like nothing is happening, like dreams are fading, and prayers are being ignored. But don’t confuse silence with absence. Don’t mistake stillness for stagnation. You are not buried… you are planted. In the soil, a seed looks lifeless. It is hidden from view, covered by darkness, and disconnected from the light it once knew. But beneath that surface, a transformation is happening. Slowly. Quietly. With purpose. The Silent Test Ever notice how the teacher is quiet during the test? That silence isn’t punishment, it’s an invitation to apply what you’ve already learned. In our spiritual and emotional lives, there are “test seasons” where we don’t feel divine direction, where clarity doesn’t come easily, and where reassurance feels distant. But this silence doesn’t mean you’re alone. It’s part of your growth. It’s where you learn to reflect, not react… and then determine whether a response is even ne...

Every adventure I take breeds another opportunity for personal growth. Although the purpose of each trip is usually relaxation, I never pass up any opportunity to gain wisdom. Jamaica was jAMAZING! The culture is so rich and the people are extremely caring and relaxed. Along our journey to Jamaica, we met some extremely wonderful people that took the time to educate us on the lifestyle, history, and culture. However, along with the beautiful weather and water also came the difficulty to maintain a decent lifestyle without struggle. Being on an island, gas prices were triple the cost of my norm due to the transport cost to get the gasoline in their area, therefore many people cannot afford to buy their own car and rely heavily on taxis or buses.  We discussed rent/mortgage, bills, family and were enlightened that most, although not all do not have air conditioner, live with their family for a long time or forever to economically survive, and with the income they earn they must sa...

I often discuss my efforts to maximize "my dash" (between my birthdate and death date), however I'd like to delve into something extremely sensitive and often avoided .... When tomorrow starts without me, you may have an abundance of questions but know that God makes no mistakes. Although I pray that I have a lot of life left in me, there are certain details I want to be clear on... When life continues without me please try not to cry... I know I'm going to heaven so rest assured about my salvation . •Don't come to my funeral wearing black . I want all white with yellow, pink, or bright colors of some sort to accent. •I will be cremated so you all aren't constantly remembering me from your visualization in the casket. There's just something about people walking and staring at my lifeless body that makes me uncomfortable. Have several pictures of me on display! Make sure I look cute in all of them ;). • Please be on time to my home going celebration,  ...

Got your hopes up for something? Got let down? Well YOU, my friend, are not alone... It sucks like a vacuum doesn't it ?... The anxious anticipation of the plan strikes several emotions and one cannot wait for the plan to fall into its prospective place... Just to your demise, it's an epic fail: someone doesn't show up, no one answers the phone, etc. The plan is ruined...  Often times we expect what we would be willing to do for others... This is one of the quickest ways to get let down. Everyone doesn't think like you, therefore expecting them to react or respond as you would is a failure from the mere thought.   In retrospect of my many disappointments I've developed my own recipe to produce a delicious amount of happiness... Preheat your self expectations of how you will carry yourself, what you want out of life, how you will treat people, and whom you want to grow to be. Mix 100% expectations on God to do just what He said he would do.  Trust that He has a pur...

Have you ever thought about why you were put on this earth? Like what exactly you were supposed to carry out before your time is over on this side? Are your talents and gifts connected to that purpose? Do you have multiple purposes? I cannot tell you exactly what your purpose in life is but I can help you figure it out by asking you what bothers you and doesn't usually phase people around you? No, no , no I am not talking about obnoxious smacking, people sliding their feet on the ground or loud breathing. I mean a serious issue in the world that bothers you and you desire to fix. Your purpose is connected to that. It takes everyone to run this world so it's important that you play your part. You were created with a purpose for a purpose. "As you mature so will it, you just have to find IT"! Sensai #purpose #life #talents #gifts #blog

I love God. I am not perfect. But I am trying. I am wise beyond years, so I’ve been told. I don’t act like people my age. I will never be satisfied with my body. I am not rich in money, but rich in love. I sometimes say things I wish I wouldn’t have. I def think my mind needs to slow down. I am not perfect. But I am trying. I don’t really care for recognition. My feet are small. Ive accomplished a lot but feel like I should've accomplished more. I’m coming out of my comfort zone. No kids. I sometimes want people to get what they deserve [ although I shouldn’t]. I only want to be ME. I am not perfect. But I am trying. I wish I could sing well [don’t want to be a singer tho]. I need to work on my patience (major flaw). I am very random and when something comes to mind I have to say it or I'll forget it. I love music. I do a lot behind the scenes, no pats on the back needed. Some little things aggravate me. Smacking. Sloppy eaters. Et...