The Battle in My Mind

  In today’s world, where marriages face constant pressures from external and spiritual forces, one truth stands unshaken:  a woman is greatly blessed when her husband takes his rightful role as a spiritual covering in their relationship and family.  This is not about domination or control, but about divine order, protection, and partnership as God designed it. God’s Design for Spiritual Covering From the very beginning, God established order in relationships: “But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”  –  1 Corinthians 11:3 This scripture shows divine alignment. Just as Christ submits to the Father, and man submits to Christ, the woman is covered by the man. It is not about superiority, it is about protection, structure, and spiritual flow. When a husband stands as the priest of his home, he becomes the shield that intercepts attacks aimed at his wife and children. Without t...

Be the Love of Your Own Life We often grow up believing the greatest love story we’ll ever experience is with another person, someone who sees us, chooses us, saves us. But the most transformative, healing, and empowering love story you’ll ever live… is the one you write with  yourself . You Are Not Waiting to Be Loved — You Are Love Being the love of your own life means  choosing yourself  every day  in the silence, in the mess, in the rebuilding. It means: Encouraging yourself when no one else claps. Complimenting yourself when the mirror is quiet. Showing up for yourself without needing someone else to tell you you’re worth it. Don’t Wait — That’s Giving Away Your Power Waiting for someone to love you “enough” is handing over the keys to your self-worth. It creates a dangerous cycle: If they approve, I’m valuable. If they withdraw, I’m lacking. If they change, I crumble. When you  rely on others to meet all your needs , you unintentionally give them the power...

  Taking time to reflect has been incredibly valuable. Being in a healthy relationship has filled me with hope and excitement for what’s ahead. It’s prompted me to pause and gather my thoughts here’s what’s been on my heart… Yesterday, I met the truth  and she was soft, but unrelenting. She said, “No… you’re not quite ready for marriage again.” And I didn’t flinch. Because she wasn’t judging  she was freeing me. Freeing me to admit what I need, without apology. To stand on things I’ve spoken out loud and things I have whispered in private. I need to feel safe enough… to feel. To break without being broken. To cry and not be labeled “too much.” To speak and not be muted by ego or pride. I need space  space to be human, to be messy, to heal the parts of me no one ever saw bleeding. I need to heal the wounds I’ve carried, the ones I tucked behind strength and silence, the ones I dressed in “I’m fine” so no one would worry. I need to feel loved  not tolerated, not m...

Every adventure I take breeds another opportunity for personal growth. Although the purpose of each trip is usually relaxation, I never pass up any opportunity to gain wisdom. Jamaica was jAMAZING! The culture is so rich and the people are extremely caring and relaxed. Along our journey to Jamaica, we met some extremely wonderful people that took the time to educate us on the lifestyle, history, and culture. However, along with the beautiful weather and water also came the difficulty to maintain a decent lifestyle without struggle. Being on an island, gas prices were triple the cost of my norm due to the transport cost to get the gasoline in their area, therefore many people cannot afford to buy their own car and rely heavily on taxis or buses.  We discussed rent/mortgage, bills, family and were enlightened that most, although not all do not have air conditioner, live with their family for a long time or forever to economically survive, and with the income they earn they must sa...

Harvey, Let me talk to you for a bit. I know we haven't formally introduced ourselves, I just know what you've done. Now, I am not writing you to complain about all the damage and inconveniences you have caused me, my city, surrounding areas, or state. This is actually a thank you letter for helping me realize what adverse circumstances CAN'T strip from me and the lessons that CAN be gained from such unfavorable situations.  First of all, You can't take my faith or peace. You've actually strengthened them both.  Prior to your arrival, there was a chaotic ball of division and now  I've seen numerous people of different faiths, races, genders, tax brackets etc. unite because of you. You've taught me not to under or over estimate anything or anyone .  You've helped me realize the importance of being prepared for everything, also including blessings.  You've shown me no one is exempt from trials regardless of social status, finances, rac...

I often discuss my efforts to maximize "my dash" (between my birthdate and death date), however I'd like to delve into something extremely sensitive and often avoided .... When tomorrow starts without me, you may have an abundance of questions but know that God makes no mistakes. Although I pray that I have a lot of life left in me, there are certain details I want to be clear on... When life continues without me please try not to cry... I know I'm going to heaven so rest assured about my salvation . •Don't come to my funeral wearing black . I want all white with yellow, pink, or bright colors of some sort to accent. •I will be cremated so you all aren't constantly remembering me from your visualization in the casket. There's just something about people walking and staring at my lifeless body that makes me uncomfortable. Have several pictures of me on display! Make sure I look cute in all of them ;). • Please be on time to my home going celebration,  ...

Death is never an easy situation for me to overcome. My mind begins  hyperextending from the myriad emotions of denial, numbness, empathy, confusion, surprisingly gratefulness, and the list continues. This past encounter with the death of my grandfather taught me so much about myself and my family. You never know what you take for granted until it is no longer available to you. I never valued voicemails so much until that was the only opportunity I had to listen to a loved one's voice. I never valued watching someone inhale and exhale until I watched as breath exited my grandfather's lifeless body for the final time. This experience has been bitter sweet. I will miss my grandfather tremendously, but I am aware that he is no longer in pain and is cancer free. On the contrary,  I'm so grateful for my family and the spiritual strength that I have gained through this process. I have never felt God's presence so much in my lifetime. He is truly a comforter and peace in the...

Mighty man of valor,   I anxiously, yet patiently anticipate your arrival in my life. My envision for us supersedes my conscious ability to articulate with accurate precision. As I await and prepare for our connection, there are some things I would like you to know...  Timing is everything.... Our first level of commitment is to God. We owe him a return on his investment . Then our commitment to each other. Our connectivity will be a phenomenal asset to our commitment.  Future husband, I want you to thoroughly comprehend the immense difficulty of watching everyone else appear to be happily in love, meanwhile I constantly get approached by .... Well let's just say, "developing" men. (Yeah, developing men... That was a nice way to put it.) perhaps "poor timing " or "premature males ". Who knows... My conscious decision at age 14 to make better and intentional choices of being a lady with attempts to keep my sanctuary essential were so th...

My dearly beloved parents, I fracture my mind trying to find ways to ever repay y'all for everything you've been to me and done for me. Because I have yet to be clever or creative enough to come up with a process of reciprocation it stresses me out. I know you all don't expect anything materialistic but even then I don't know what I could purchase that would show my appreciation. I realize I will be forever indebted to y'all. All of the life's lessons you taught me, encouragement, support and even discipline has instilled morals and values in me that I wouldn't have otherwise. Because all the money in the world could never repay you I decided to show you how much you mean to me via written expression.  Daddy, Remember the broken shoulder after you told me not to run back and forth across the street going to the trampoline when I was in 8th grade? Or the whooping after I moved the car up on Shreck when you went in the back yard and told me not to? Wh...