The Battle in My Mind

  Taking time to reflect has been incredibly valuable. Being in a healthy relationship has filled me with hope and excitement for what’s ahead. It’s prompted me to pause and gather my thoughts here’s what’s been on my heart… Yesterday, I met the truth  and she was soft, but unrelenting. She said, “No… you’re not quite ready for marriage again.” And I didn’t flinch. Because she wasn’t judging  she was freeing me. Freeing me to admit what I need, without apology. To stand on things I’ve spoken out loud and things I have whispered in private. I need to feel safe enough… to feel. To break without being broken. To cry and not be labeled “too much.” To speak and not be muted by ego or pride. I need space  space to be human, to be messy, to heal the parts of me no one ever saw bleeding. I need to heal the wounds I’ve carried, the ones I tucked behind strength and silence, the ones I dressed in “I’m fine” so no one would worry. I need to feel loved  not tolerated, not m...

Every adventure I take breeds another opportunity for personal growth. Although the purpose of each trip is usually relaxation, I never pass up any opportunity to gain wisdom. Jamaica was jAMAZING! The culture is so rich and the people are extremely caring and relaxed. Along our journey to Jamaica, we met some extremely wonderful people that took the time to educate us on the lifestyle, history, and culture. However, along with the beautiful weather and water also came the difficulty to maintain a decent lifestyle without struggle. Being on an island, gas prices were triple the cost of my norm due to the transport cost to get the gasoline in their area, therefore many people cannot afford to buy their own car and rely heavily on taxis or buses.  We discussed rent/mortgage, bills, family and were enlightened that most, although not all do not have air conditioner, live with their family for a long time or forever to economically survive, and with the income they earn they must sa...