What My 11-Year-Old Nephew Reminded Me About Effort, Resilience, and Heart

This summer, I watched my nephew Cole discover something many adults still struggle to learn: the power of trying your best, even when it’s hard.

At just 11 years old, Cole has been joining workouts with the high school football team, lifting, running, sweating alongside teenagers much older than him. It’s been more than just exercise; it’s been a crucible where he’s forged a new perspective on what he’s capable of. He’s realizing that strength isn’t just physical, it’s mental. And as his confidence grows, so does his belief in himself.

One day, I talked to Cole and asked how he was feeling about the changes coming to his own football team this season. Without hesitation, he said, “I feel ready. I know I can do it.” There was no arrogance in his voice, just calm confidence. I asked him where that belief came from, and without skipping a beat, he said, “My dad.”



That response landed heavy on my heart. His dad is my brother and I’ve had the privilege of watching him grow since we were kids. Even back then, he carried a drive that was quiet but undeniable.  And now, all these years later, I see that same fire passed down to his son, not through pressure, but through presence. Not through perfection, but through love and consistency.

I challenged Cole to write himself a letter about what he was proud of. And what he wrote stopped me in my tracks:

“Dear Cole,
I am so thankful for you trying your best this past Summer and pushing through the hard, and you should always do your best even when you don’t want to, and (it’s ok to hurt)! You should always do good.”

Simple. Pure. Wise.

Cole’s words and his determination in those high school workouts carry lessons that many of us need to revisit:

 Trying Your Best Matters More Than Winning
He didn’t talk about trophies or perfect scores; he celebrated effort. Effort is what grows us. It’s what carries us past our comfort zones and teaches us perseverance.

Pushing Through the Hard is Worth It
Hard moments aren’t something to avoid, they’re opportunities to practice courage. Cole reminded me that grit isn’t about never hurting; it’s about moving forward despite the discomfort. Those tough workouts proved to him that he can do things he once thought were impossible.

 It’s Okay to Hurt
Pain isn’t weakness. Feeling disappointment, frustration, or exhaustion doesn’t mean we’re failing; it means we’re growing. Cole’s tender reminder “it’s ok to hurt” is a message we all need when we stumble.

Always Choose Good
Doing good, even when it’s tough, shapes who we are. It’s not just about achievement; it’s about character. Choosing kindness, honesty, and hard work molds us into the people we’re meant to become.

Cole’s letter, his Summer of hard work, and the quiet confidence he carries are reminders that wisdom doesn’t only come with age. Sometimes it shines brightest in the words and actions of a child discovering his own strength.

So the next time you’re tempted to quit, or feel unsure of your ability to face what’s ahead, remember: it’s okay if it hurts. Do your best. Keep pushing through the hard. And always, always choose to do good.

Thank you, Cole, for inspiring me and reminding us all what real courage looks like.

 Persistence is being consistent in the face of resistance. 

Sensai 

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