The Battle in My Mind

We all carry them— expectations, rules, and assumptions . Some of them were handed to us in childhood, others shaped by culture, relationships, or personal experiences. They form invisible scripts that tell us how life  should  go, how others  should  treat us, and how we  should  behave. On one hand, these mental rules can give us structure and guidance. On the other, they can become rigid, harsh, and unrealistic—causing disappointment, frustration, and even shame when life doesn’t measure up. Think about it: “If they loved me, they would know what I need without me asking.” “I should always keep it together, no matter what.” “Good partners never argue.” “I can’t rest until everything is perfect.” These unspoken rules don’t just affect us—they shape how we view others, how we communicate, and how we show up in relationships. Why Expectations Become a Trap The problem isn’t that we have expectations—it’s that we often: Hold others to rules they don’t know e...

I admire those of you who live without constantly turning inward, who move through life without the weight of reflection. For me, self-examination has always been part of my process. It isn’t weakness—it’s awareness. It helps me see where I need to grow, where I need to take accountability, and where I need to stand stronger. What I’m learning, though, is how to take responsibility without carrying unnecessary guilt or shame. Growth does not require self-punishment. In relationships, this becomes especially clear. When I stop caring as much, I feel safer. My emotions regulate. I don’t overreact, and sometimes I don’t respond at all. That distance protects me—but it also has a downside. The less I care, the more numb I become. I stop investing, stop leaning in. What feels like calm for me can easily become disconnection with others. And here’s the truth: if it isn’t safe for me to be fully myself in a relationship, then you won’t get all of me. Parts of me will remain dormant. That’s no...

  In today’s world, where marriages face constant pressures from external and spiritual forces, one truth stands unshaken:  a woman is greatly blessed when her husband takes his rightful role as a spiritual covering in their relationship and family.  This is not about domination or control, but about divine order, protection, and partnership as God designed it. God’s Design for Spiritual Covering From the very beginning, God established order in relationships: “But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”  –  1 Corinthians 11:3 This scripture shows divine alignment. Just as Christ submits to the Father, and man submits to Christ, the woman is covered by the man. It is not about superiority—it is about protection, structure, and spiritual flow. When a husband stands as the priest of his home, he becomes the shield that intercepts attacks aimed at his wife and children. Without th...

This summer, I watched my nephew Cole discover something many adults still struggle to learn: the power of trying your best, even when it’s hard. At just 11 years old, Cole has been joining workouts with the high school football team—lifting, running, sweating alongside teenagers much older than him. It’s been more than just exercise; it’s been a crucible where he’s forged a new perspective on what he’s capable of. He’s realizing that strength isn’t just physical—it’s mental. And as his confidence grows, so does his belief in himself. One day, I talked to Cole and asked how he was feeling about the changes coming to his own football team this season. Without hesitation, he said,  “I feel ready. I know I can do it.”  There was no arrogance in his voice—just calm confidence. I asked him where that belief came from, and without skipping a beat, he said,  “My dad.” That response landed heavy on my heart. His dad is my brother—and I’ve had the privilege of watching him grow si...

Adults spend years — sometimes decades — trying to figure out confidence. We buy books, attend workshops, follow influencers, and stand in front of mirrors repeating affirmations. But sometimes, the truest, simplest wisdom comes from the heart of a child. Meet my niece,  Colin . She’s 8 years old. She’s unapologetically herself. She loves chips. She’s flexible, friendly, and firmly believes she’s  “the best Colin in the world.” And honestly? She might be on to something. What Is Confidence? “When you know you’re going to kill it.” – Colin, age 8 Confidence isn’t arrogance. It’s not perfection. It’s a deep, quiet knowing that  you can show up and be great  — not because you have every answer, but because you  know who you are  and  believe in what you bring . Colin doesn’t need external validation to believe in herself. She doesn’t wait for applause before deciding she’s got this. She just  knows . And that’s confidence. How Do You Get Confidence? ...

Be the Love of Your Own Life We often grow up believing the greatest love story we’ll ever experience is with another person — someone who sees us, chooses us, saves us. But the most transformative, healing, and empowering love story you’ll ever live… is the one you write with  yourself . You Are Not Waiting to Be Loved — You Are Love Being the love of your own life means  choosing yourself  every day — in the silence, in the mess, in the rebuilding. It means: Encouraging yourself when no one else claps. Complimenting yourself when the mirror is quiet. Showing up for yourself without needing someone else to tell you you’re worth it. Don’t Wait — That’s Giving Away Your Power Waiting for someone to love you “enough” is handing over the keys to your self-worth. It creates a dangerous cycle: If they approve, I’m valuable. If they withdraw, I’m lacking. If they change, I crumble. When you  rely on others to meet all your needs , you unintentionally give them the power to...

There are seasons in life where everything feels still—quiet, even painfully so. It can feel like nothing is happening, like dreams are fading, and prayers are being ignored. But don’t confuse silence with absence. Don’t mistake stillness for stagnation. You are not buried… you are planted. In the soil, a seed looks lifeless. It is hidden from view, covered by darkness, and disconnected from the light it once knew. But beneath that surface, a transformation is happening. Slowly. Quietly. With purpose. The Silent Test Ever notice how the teacher is quiet during the test? That silence isn’t punishment—it’s an invitation to apply what you’ve already learned. In our spiritual and emotional lives, there are “test seasons” where we don’t feel divine direction, where clarity doesn’t come easily, and where reassurance feels distant. But this silence doesn’t mean you’re alone. It’s part of your growth. It’s where you learn to reflect, not react… and then determine whether a response is even nee...